You can't
make this stuff up.
Head-scratching headlines, spectacularly bad decisions, and the stories that make you ask: seriously?
Latest dispatches
The FCC opened comment on whether The View is news, because daytime television apparently needed a federal paperwork tribunal
The FCC Media Bureau is seeking comment on Disney ABC's request to declare The View a bona fide news interview program exempt from equal-opportunities rules.
READ STORY ↗Reuters says Trump owns the Warsh Fed now, because apparently the blame shield got a nameplate upgrade
Reuters reports Kevin Warsh is now installed as Fed chair, which means Trump loses Jerome Powell as his favorite inflation punching bag and inherits the results of his o…
READ STORY ↗Trump says "I don't make bad deals" while GOP hawks pan his Iran deal, because apparently the war got a Yelp review
AP and The Guardian say Trump's emerging proposal to end the Iran war is drawing criticism from Republican hawks before the final deal even exists.
READ STORY ↗The FTC says scammers now reach people by text more than any other way, because apparently every phone became a fraud mailbox
The FTC says last year's fraud reports showed more people reporting scam contact by text than by any other method.
READ STORY ↗DOJ says the Feeding Our Future boss got 500 months, because stealing child meal money apparently needed a fraud vortex
DOJ says Aimee Bock was sentenced to 500 months for her lead role in a $250 million fraud scheme exploiting a federal child nutrition program.
READ STORY ↗Reuters says a former DOJ lawyer emailed herself a sealed Trump report as cake recipes, because apparently classified-adjacent paperwork needed frosting
Reuters reports a former Justice Department attorney pleaded not guilty to charges tied to emailing herself an unreleased Jack Smith report volume under dessert-themed f…
READ STORY ↗DOJ says a $2 billion telemedicine fraud ring used ghost visits and Moscow billers, because apparently health care needed a heist desk
DOJ says three members of a Moscow-based criminal organization were sentenced in an approximately $2 billion telemedicine health care fraud conspiracy.
READ STORY ↗DOJ says Minnesota fraud defendants billed autism care like a slot machine, because vulnerable kids were apparently a revenue model
DOJ announced charges against 15 defendants in Minnesota health care fraud cases involving more than $90 million in intended loss, including alleged autism-services frau…
READ STORY ↗Trump turned a Maryland ballot vendor mistake into a 500,000-ballot conspiracy, because apparently clerical errors need a cape
AP fact-checked Trump's claim that Maryland sent 500,000 illegal mail ballots and found the claim false: election officials said a vendor error affected some ballots, wh…
READ STORY ↗The government says barring some green-card holders is "comparatively less burdensome," because apparently residency came with a dimmer switch
The Guardian reports a new HHS/CDC order lets officials temporarily bar some lawful permanent residents from entering the U.S. after recent travel to Ebola-affected coun…
READ STORY ↗The White House is trying the Venezuela playbook on Cuba, because apparently foreign policy has a copy-paste button
AP reports the Trump administration is applying a Venezuela-style pressure campaign to Cuba, with an oil blockade, more U.S. military presence, federal charges and repea…
READ STORY ↗DOJ says a crypto trader promised no-risk Bitcoin returns, because apparently gravity was unavailable for comment
DOJ says an Ohio man was sentenced to nine years for a $10 million cryptocurrency Ponzi scheme built around guaranteed principal and expert-trader claims.
READ STORY ↗DHS floated pulling customs from sanctuary-city airports, because apparently international flights needed a loyalty test
AP says the travel industry condemned Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin after he reiterated a threat to withdraw CBP officers from sanctuary-city airports.
READ STORY ↗A judge tossed Michael Wolff's Melania lawsuit, because apparently you cannot sue first and call it a legal umbrella
AP says a federal judge dismissed author Michael Wolff's lawsuit seeking to block or punish a possible Melania Trump defamation suit.
READ STORY ↗DOJ scrubbed Jan. 6 case releases from its website, because apparently the archive caught a partisan flu
AP and The Guardian report that DOJ acknowledged removing Jan. 6 criminal-case news releases and called the prosecution records "partisan propaganda."
READ STORY ↗Trump fast-tracked deep-sea mining and investors stampeded, because apparently the ocean floor needed a startup bubble
AP says Trump's deep-sea mining order sparked millions in investment, soaring stock prices and a federal race to fast-track seabed-mining permits.
READ STORY ↗The FTC says Cox sold fake AI eavesdropping ads, because apparently surveillance theater needed a markup
The FTC says Cox Media Group and two marketing firms will pay $930,000 to settle claims they deceived customers about an "Active Listening" ad service.
READ STORY ↗Trump's anti-weaponization fund got another lawsuit, because apparently the Judgment Fund became a grievance ATM
CNN says the Trump administration's nearly $1.8 billion anti-weaponization fund is facing another legal challenge over its use of taxpayer settlement money.
READ STORY ↗