You can't
make this stuff up.
Head-scratching headlines, spectacularly bad decisions, and the stories that make you ask: seriously?
Latest dispatches
The government agreed to forever drop Trump tax claims, because apparently suing the IRS now comes with audit repellent
AP says a DOJ settlement addendum permanently bars the U.S. from examining or prosecuting current tax examinations involving Trump, his sons and the Trump Organization.
READ STORY ↗Trump said he was an hour away from striking Iran again, because apparently diplomacy now has a countdown buzzer
Reuters says Trump told reporters he had been an hour away from deciding to strike Iran again, while Vice President JD Vance said talks had made progress.
READ STORY ↗Interior canceled the public-lands conservation rule, because apparently healthy land was getting too much equal footing
AP says the Interior Department is canceling a Biden-era rule that put conservation on equal footing with drilling, logging, mining and grazing on public lands.
READ STORY ↗Hegseth campaigned in Kentucky as a "private citizen," because apparently the secretary of war has a weekend side quest
AP says Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth traveled to Kentucky to attack Rep. Thomas Massie and boost Trump-backed challenger Ed Gallrein on the eve of a primary.
READ STORY ↗The FCC is probing potential E-Rate fraud in Minnesota, because even school internet money needs a scam smoke alarm
The FCC says it sent three Letters of Inquiry to Minnesota educational institutions as a first step in investigating potential fraud in the federal E-Rate program.
READ STORY ↗Trump delayed the beef-price executive orders, because apparently grocery inflation needed a marinade period
Reuters says Trump delayed planned executive orders meant to boost beef imports and rebuild the U.S. cattle herd after the White House had said he would sign them Monday.
READ STORY ↗DOJ created a $1.776 billion anti-weaponization fund after Trump dropped his IRS suit, because apparently grievance now has a claims administrator
Reuters, AP and DOJ say Trump dropped his IRS lawsuit in exchange for an apology and a new fund for people claiming government weaponization or lawfare.
READ STORY ↗Drugmakers asked the Supreme Court to stop Medicare haggling, because apparently negotiation is tyranny when the buyer is enormous
AP and Reuters say the Supreme Court declined to hear pharmaceutical companies' challenges to Medicare drug-price negotiations, leaving lower-court losses in place.
READ STORY ↗The Trump-backed prayer festival brought "Jesus Make America Godly Again" to the Mall, because apparently the semiquincentennial needed campaign merch
Reuters photographed Rededicate 250, a National Jubilee of Prayer, Praise & Thanksgiving, on the National Mall, including Trump hats, Senator Tim Scott, and a "Jesus Mak…
READ STORY ↗DOJ says a health software boss ran a billion-dollar Medicare fraud machine, because fake doctor orders are apparently a business model now
The Justice Department says a federal jury convicted HealthSplash founder Brett Blackman over a platform that generated false doctors' orders and helped bill more than $…
READ STORY ↗DOJ wrote itself a voter-roll permission slip after six courts said no, because apparently losing repeatedly just means sing louder
Reuters says DOJ issued a formal legal opinion backing demands for unredacted state voter rolls even after federal judges in six states blocked the push.
READ STORY ↗Republicans may vote on White House ballroom money while everyone else is yelling about prices, because timing is a flat circle
Reuters says Democrats are turning Trump's proposed $400 million White House ballroom into a midterm affordability attack as Republicans advance a presidential-security …
READ STORY ↗Texas sued Netflix for allegedly spying on kids and using autoplay dark patterns, because apparently the couch needed a privacy lawyer
Reuters says Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton accused Netflix of collecting and selling viewer data without consent and designing the platform to keep users watching.
READ STORY ↗Santa Clara County sued Meta over scam ads, because apparently Facebook fraud came with a revenue lane
Reuters says Santa Clara County alleges Meta profited from scam ads on Facebook and Instagram while misleading users about anti-scam efforts.
READ STORY ↗Trump told Iran the clock is ticking while aides plan another Situation Room meeting, because apparently diplomacy needed a kitchen timer with missiles
Reuters says Trump threatened consequences for Iran on Truth Social and is expected to meet top national security advisers Tuesday to discuss military options.
READ STORY ↗The FTC says IM Mastery ringleaders must surrender mansions, cars, watches, and a yacht, because apparently forex guru cosplay had inventory
The FTC says lead IM Mastery Academy defendants will surrender nearly $90 million in assets to resolve claims tied to a trading-training MLM scheme.
READ STORY ↗The FTC backed off Media Matters, but the pressure campaign still did its job, because apparently losing later is fine if everyone panics now
The Guardian says the FTC settled its fight with Media Matters after an investigation tied to the watchdog's reporting on ads near pro-Nazi content on X.
READ STORY ↗Iran-war diesel prices are eating school budgets, because apparently the bus route now has a foreign-policy surcharge
Reuters says diesel prices have jumped 67% since December, forcing school districts to raid reserves, shift money and rethink basic transportation costs.
READ STORY ↗