You can't
make this stuff up.
Head-scratching headlines, spectacularly bad decisions, and the stories that make you ask: seriously?
Latest dispatches
DOJ says a Medicare fraud fugitive with a fake passport got hauled back over a $547 million genetic-test scheme, because apparently cancer tests became a jackpot button
Khalid Satary, indicted in 2019 and wanted since 2022, was arrested overseas and returned to the United States to face charges tied to allegedly unnecessary genetic test…
READ STORY ↗DOJ says stolen gift cards became warehouse electronics bound for China, because romance scams apparently needed a shipping department
A Chinese national living in Massachusetts was indicted in New Hampshire over an alleged conspiracy that turned stolen gift cards from romance fraud, elder fraud and hac…
READ STORY ↗The FTC says Celsius founders promised crypto deposits were safer than a bank, right before reality introduced itself with bankruptcy paperwork
Celsius Network's founders agreed to pay $16.5 million to resolve FTC charges that they deceived users about crypto deposits, withdrawals, reserves, insurance and high-y…
READ STORY ↗Trump's teleprompter operator is on unpaid leave after alleged bets on Trump's speeches, because apparently even the cue cards became a financial product
AP says the White House put Gabriel Perez on unpaid leave after reports that he used inside knowledge of presidential speeches to win more than $100,000 on Kalshi predic…
READ STORY ↗DOJ says a ransomware negotiator helped the ransomware gang, because apparently the fire extinguisher was billing the arsonist
A former Florida ransomware negotiator got 70 months in prison after DOJ said he fed BlackCat attackers confidential victim information and helped squeeze companies for …
READ STORY ↗The FTC says health-insurance search ads can lead to government impersonators, because apparently even scrolling is now fraud prevention
The FTC warned that people searching for ACA coverage, Medicare or health insurance can land on paid lookalike sites designed to collect personal information, fees or mi…
READ STORY ↗The New York Times accused the EEOC of political retaliation, because apparently civil-rights enforcement now comes with a media-coverage mood ring
The paper says the federal agency sued it one week after a critical Times story about the agency's priorities, turning an employment dispute into a First Amendment count…
READ STORY ↗The FTC says fake lawyers are mailing people about mystery life-insurance fortunes, because apparently your last name is now a lottery ticket for fraud
The pitch is simple: someone with your surname died, millions are waiting, and this helpful "lawyer" wants to split the money. The FTC's shorter version: no, they do not.
READ STORY ↗DOJ says a telehealth company turned Adderall refills into a subscription growth engine, because apparently "move fast and prescribe stimulants" was the business plan
Done Global's founder got six years, its former clinical president got two, and prosecutors say the platform pushed more than 37 million Adderall pills while chasing a b…
READ STORY ↗The Supreme Court unanimously said: prosecuting marijuana users for gun ownership violates the Second Amendment, because apparently one stupidity doesn't cancel out another
In a rare moment of unanimity, all nine justices agreed that federal law doesn't get to strip gun rights from people whose only crime was using a substance that is incre…
READ STORY ↗The National Park Service officially claimed the Reflecting Pool liner was cut with a sharp knife or razor, because sometimes the evidence arrives exactly when the blame narrative needs it
Two weeks after Trump claimed vandals damaged the Lincoln Memorial's reflecting pool renovation, the National Park Service suddenly found official documentation of inten…
READ STORY ↗The FTC warned pet lovers: scammers are stealing animal photos and using AI deepfakes to sell you fake puppies, because apparently even your love of animals can be weaponized
Scammers are using stolen pet images, manipulated videos, and AI-generated deepfakes to trick people into giving them money or personal information, exploiting the one t…
READ STORY ↗Trump blamed the Reflecting Pool mess on vandalism without proof, because apparently algae needed a fall guy on a bicycle
AP reports President Trump claimed vandalism caused problems with the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool redo, offered no substantiation beyond saying arrests had been mad…
READ STORY ↗Kansas City wanted facial-recognition cameras on buses for the World Cup, but the rollout hit tech and money potholes, because privacy panic needed transit delays too
AP reports Kansas City, Missouri, plans to install facial-recognition cameras on buses, but technical and financial problems delayed a rollout officials hoped would be r…
READ STORY ↗Bosch avoided prosecution after alleged Huawei export-control violations, because national security apparently came with a self-report coupon
DOJ says it declined to prosecute Bosch after the company voluntarily disclosed years of export-control violations involving Huawei-linked entities, cooperated, remediat…
READ STORY ↗Trump said Italy's prime minister begged him for a photo, so Italy canceled a U.S. business forum, because apparently diplomacy now has a group-chat correction thread
AP reports Italy's government slammed Trump's claim that Giorgia Meloni had "begged" for a photo at the G7, with Meloni posting that the story was fabricated and Foreign…
READ STORY ↗A court said the Trump administration can replace a slavery exhibit at Washington's Philadelphia home, because apparently history needed a removable panel setting
AP reports a 3rd Circuit panel struck down an injunction requiring the National Park Service to reinstall interpretive panels at the President's House site in Philadelph…
READ STORY ↗A Navy contractor paid $507,144 after allegedly flunking cyber requirements with a minus-170 score, because apparently national security got graded on a cliff
DOJ says Alabama defense contractor LOGZONE agreed to resolve False Claims Act allegations after allegedly billing on Navy contracts while missing required cybersecurity…
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