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General · 2026-04-22

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<% Kicker = "MEDIA" Title = "The Onion Finally Takes Over Infowars in Epic Troll Victory" Date = "April 22, 2026" %> <%=Title%> <%=Kicker%> <%=Date%> In what can only be described as the most perfectly timed April trolling operation of

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In what can only be described as the most perfectly timed April trolling operation of all time, satirical news outlet The Onion has finally locked down a deal to take over Alex Jones' Infowars platform — and Alex Jones is absolutely losing his mind over it. We're talking shirtless rants on X, apocalyptic meltdowns on his show, and accusations of "fraud" that nobody except his most devoted followers believes. This is peak stupidity, and it's absolutely glorious.

The Long Road to Comedy Gold

Let's set the scene: Alex Jones spent decades building Infowars into a sprawling conspiracy theory empire, complete with supplement sales, fearmongering livestreams, and false claims about literally everything from Sandy Hook to pizza restaurants in D.C. But then reality hit like a truck. Jones was hit with nearly $1.5 billion in defamation judgments after losing a series of lawsuits from Sandy Hook families he mercilessly harassed by falsely claiming the entire mass shooting was a "hoax." Yeah, you read that right — he literally lost nearly a billion and a half dollars for lying about dead children.

That's when The Onion first attempted to take over Infowars through a bankruptcy auction back in 2024. The families affected by Jones' lies backed the deal, hoping to turn the platform into something positive or at least shut it down. But Jones fought like hell, hiring expensive lawyers and dragging things through court. A judge threw out the deal, citing problems with the auction process. Welcome to legal hell, everyone.

Fast forward to April 2026, and The Onion — working with a court-appointed liquidator and doing everything by the book this time — has filed a new takeover plan that even Jones can't easily block. According to The Onion's CEO Ben Collins, the new licensing deal involves a $81,000 monthly payment for at least six months, with an option to renew. And here's the kicker: the judge can approve it without needing Jones to cooperate at all.

Alex Jones Absolutely Melts Down

When Jones learned about the deal, he didn't respond with measured discourse or even basic professionalism. Instead, he did what he does best: threw a complete tantrum. According to reports, Jones appeared shirtless on his show, screaming about how The Onion was "fraudulently" claiming ownership of Infowars. He claimed they were trying to "defame" him by running a satire site using his platform — which, again, is literally the entire point.

On X (formerly Twitter), Jones posted angry screed after angry screed, with his followers offering various conspiracy theories about how this was all a setup or an attack on "free speech" or whatever. Meanwhile, actual lawyers and judges are just shaking their heads, reviewing the paperwork, and preparing to hand Infowars over to the people literally designed to mock conspiracy theorists.

According to reporting from the Boston Globe, Collins said that at one point he had "real doubts" about continuing with the takeover attempt. But then Kyle Rittenhouse appeared on Infowars in January, spreading false claims about a shooting victim, and that reignited Collins' determination. "I just thought, you know what, these [expletive] keep doing this for the rest of our lives, unless somebody gets these families what they need," Collins said. "We just put the pedal to the metal."

The Comedians Are Coming For Infowars

The Onion has already brought in Tim Heidecker — one half of the legendary "Tim & Eric" comedy duo — to serve as creative director for the rebranded Infowars. Heidecker has already started posting content featuring his best Alex Jones impressions, and The Onion has launched fake advertisements that are absolutely brilliant in their absurdity. One fake ad promises to "liquidate your assets today" by "turning your gold into" urine. Another shows a man about to belly-flop onto grass with the text "learn to float."

The merchandise is starting to roll out too, with The Onion redesigning Infowars' logo by adding a rainbow color scheme. As Collins said, "The one good thing Alex Jones ever did was make a very nice logo, and it just needed a little bit of color. So we gave it that. Now there's a lot of T-shirts and tote bags that's going to reframe a lot of graffiti in this country very quickly."

The genius here is undeniable. The Onion is taking Jones' own infrastructure — his audience, his brand recognition, his platform — and turning it against him. They're not just shutting him down; they're converting his decades-long project into a weapon for satire. Judges have basically approved the plan, Sandy Hook families are backing it, and Jones can't stop it.

Legal Status and Timeline

According to court filings and reporting from AP News, a hearing in Travis County District Court has been scheduled for April 30. The Onion's plan is that Infowars under Jones' control will shut down April 30, and the rebranded Onion version will go live May 1. Jones says he'll fight it, but he's already admitted that "barring a miracle," the current version of Infowars is finished.

The Onion is approaching this with what Collins calls "great care," even though they're obviously going to spend the next few months absolutely destroying everything Jones has built through pure comedy. Collins, who previously worked as an NBC News reporter covering disinformation, sees this as a unique opportunity to mock the influencers and independent creators who've flooded the media landscape in recent years without facing proper scrutiny.

"There's just a gigantic amount of people that need to be made fun of that haven't been touched yet," Collins said. "They think they're gods, and maybe they feel that way because the professionals haven't gone after them yet, but we're coming."

The Bigger Picture

This whole situation is absolutely insane from top to bottom. A man loses nearly $1.5 billion in defamation judgments for spreading lies about dead children. That man's platform gets turned over to a satirical news outlet that specializes in making fun of exactly the kind of people he is. And the best part? Jones can't stop it. He's trapped watching his life's work become a punch line.

The Onion, meanwhile, has actually grown into a legitimate media operation. They relaunched their print newspaper in 2024 and now have over 73,000 subscribers — putting them ahead of all but five American newspapers in circulation. This isn't some small operation trying to troll a conspiracy theorist; this is an actual media company with real resources, real journalists, and a proven track record of excellence in satirical reporting.

Chris Mattei, the lawyer representing the Sandy Hook families, said it perfectly: "When InfoWars finally goes dark, the machinery of lies that Jones built will become a force for social good, thanks to the families' courage and The Onion's vision, persistence and stewardship."

What Comes Next

According to The Onion's current plans, the redesigned Infowars will focus on mockery of the independent media ecosystem that has allowed people like Jones to thrive. The site will feature fake supplement ads, parody "news" segments that exaggerate the ridiculousness of actual conspiracy theories, and content designed to make people think twice before believing everything they see online.

Jones has said he'll fight the takeover in court, but legal experts seem to think his chances are essentially zero at this point. The bankruptcy judge already transferred the case. The liquidator is working with The Onion. The Sandy Hook families support it. The dates are already set.

This is basically the stupidest possible outcome for Alex Jones — not criminal conviction, not deplatforming, but something potentially worse: complete and total mockery for the rest of his life. Every time someone searches "Infowars," they'll find The Onion's parody version. Every mention of his life's work will come with the knowledge that it's now being run by comedians as a joke.

And honestly? It's exactly what he deserves. You don't get to spend decades telling lies that destroy people's lives, fight off judgment after judgment, and then get to continue as normal. Welcome to consequences, Alex Jones. Hope you're comfortable with them, because The Onion is moving in.

Sources

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